Guest of the Week: Annika Elwing, expatriate in Spain

During a Spanish course in Spain, Annika Elwing fell in love with music teacher Jesús. Annika stayed in Spain and today she lives in Seville with Jesús and their 2-year-old daughter Disa. During her years in Spain, together with a large Spanish family, Annika not only got to know the country, but also the culture and traditions.

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We took the opportunity to ask Annika a bunch of curious questions about culture clashes, family life and raising children in Spain. In addition, we have of course asked for some insider tips for those who want to visit Seville as a tourist. If you want to continue following Annika's life in Spain, you can check out her blog. Casa Annika.

Can you tell us a bit about yourself? Where do you come from and how do you live today?

I grew up in a house by the forest outside Lidköping in Skaraborg and always thought that I would never want to live in the city, or in an apartment. Now I live in an apartment in Seville, Spain's fourth largest city. It's the most beautiful city I know, but if everything goes well with work, I'll move with my Spanish partner and our daughter to the mountains in the Sierra de Aracena, near the border with Portugal, after the summer. In Sweden I worked as a reporter for a local newspaper, now I'm teaching Swedish as a second language and translation.

How did you end up moving to Spain and Seville?

I had been volunteering in Bolivia for nine months. I didn't know more than three words in Spanish when I arrived and learnt the language the hard way, by listening and being forced to speak, as I couldn't communicate until I learnt Spanish.

It was more difficult than I could have imagined. I learned, of course, but missed the grammar, so at the end of the year I decided to take a Spanish course for the next trip to Bolivia that I was planning. After a couple of months in beautiful Ronda in Andalusia, I met Jesús, a music teacher from Seville. We moved in together, I stayed in Spain, and we had our two-year-old daughter Disa.

What cultural differences do you perceive between Spain and Sweden in terms of family life?

In Spain, the family is very important. For cultural and practical reasons, Spaniards rarely move far from their families. They see each other often, talk on the phone, have lunch together at weekends. Spanish family reunions are the most fun you can have. Everyone comes to eat and drink and dance together, from the oldest to the youngest members, age differences don't matter.

The close contact is probably also related to the fact that the family is a necessity to make life work. Spain lacks much of the Swedish safety net and the Swedish opportunities for an independent life. For better or worse.

Here everyone has to take care of each other. Grandparents take care of the grandchildren while their parents work, childcare is very expensive and inadequate, and children and grandchildren take care of the elderly, often living with them when they cannot manage on their own.

Leaving an elderly family member alone is unthinkable. In the wake of the economic crisis, new extended families have been formed, in many cases whole families with children living on the pensions of the elderly because they have no other income. In Sweden, people have the opportunity and endeavour to live independently, which contributes to too many single households.

Are there differences in the way children are raised in Sweden and Spain?

It's quite a difficult question for me, as I moved to Spain before any of my friends had children, I find it hard to compare. I can only talk generally about how I feel in Sweden and compare it with what I feel in my big city in southern Spain.

In Sweden, it is in some ways very easy to have children. The family gets financial help with child benefit and cheap childcare, for example. There are lots of fun activities for parents and children, which probably has to do with an infinitely long parental leave compared to Spain's four months.

At the same time, it seems quite difficult to be a parent in Sweden. There is so much to get right, so many books to read, so many articles and research reports. Sugar bans, organic food, organic toys, safety. Many invisible rules to be followed.

And all those times! The children who have to eat and sleep exactly on time, and activities and visits have to be adapted accordingly. In Spain it is more relaxed and much more flexible. In Sweden, life seems to be very much adapted to the children while here it is the opposite.

In Sweden, we often distinguish between children's activities and adult activities, but here the children go almost everywhere, and everywhere they are welcome. Spaniards are helpful, as a parent you get help with the pram on the bus, people leave seats. The children are seen because everyone you meet; teenage boys, older people, people in the bus queue, talk and joke with them. I like that!

When we were in Sweden for a month last year, I felt that my child was invisible, people didn't look at her, didn't pretend she existed. I realise that not everyone thinks she's the most amazing thing in the world, just because I do, but the contrast with how children are treated in Spain was uncomfortably clear.

I feel that children in Spain are often overprotected. And children aren't allowed to get dirty, so play is limited - no splashing in puddles, for example, but it's still difficult because children aren't allowed to go outside when it's raining, not even during school breaks.

Children are dressed up in fine, delicate clothes, and stern reprimands are common. There is a strong emphasis on education; homework, tests and grades are given to children very early on, and even the youngest children in pre-school are made to sit in desks and learn things instead of having free play.

What is the best thing about living in Spain?

Getting to know the Spanish culture. In general, living in another country, even for a little while, is instructive. Your own culture mixes with the new one, you take from your own norms and traditions and mix them with those that seem better in the new country. At the same time, there is a sense of rootlessness, of not quite belonging anywhere.

Spain is an amazing country to experience. I love the food, the quality and variety of traditional southern Spanish food. The relaxation of not planning everything far in advance, the spontaneity of going to the beach or having a picnic with friends the next day. All great places to visit. Spain's history is eventful and the landscape mountainous and varied, wherever you are there is too much to visit nearby. Health care is great and a great reassurance.

Do you miss anything from Sweden and if so, what?

Haha, I miss the whole country in turns! I miss the forest, the smells, the seasons, the nature. The friends. I miss Swedish libraries, newspapers, Thai food, Swedish new potatoes, Swedish apples and Swedish strawberries. Picking blueberries. Flea markets, they don't exist here either.

I miss the idea of equality. I miss decent working conditions that are met, a salary that you can travel for and save money from, and opportunities for jobs and training. In Spain, with its economic problems, there is a great deal of hopelessness and pessimism, and workers are being exploited beyond belief.

What are your top tips for tourists visiting Seville?

Don't go here in the summer, no human can handle this heat. Avoid tapas bars and restaurants with English-language menus; go to the ones where Spaniards flock. Don't try to eat lunch or dinner according to Swedish times and remember that most things close during the siesta.

Seville is the most beautiful city I know. I often wish I came here as a tourist for the first time again to discover everything anew. Walk, that's the best way to experience the city. Get lost in the old Barrio Santa Cruz neighbourhood narrow alleys, end up in small squares with colourful tiles, orange trees and rippling fountains, see where Don Juan bragged about his conquests and step on the grave of his real predecessor.

Visit wonderful, jungle-like María Luísa Parkand take your time because it's a special park. There's the fascinating Plaza de España with tile motifs from each province, and other buildings from the 1929 Iberoamerican Exhibition.

Walk under the palm trees along the river, see the Torre del Oro. Cross the Triana Bridge, visit the market and the museum where the Inquisition Court was located, and stroll the streets of the neighbourhood famous for its tile painters, bullfighters and flamenco artists. Experience flamenco where flamenco should be experienced - in Seville.

Eat ice cream at La Fiorentina. The ice cream here is not as famous as the Italian one, but just as good. Visit the cathedral where Columbus is buried and the monastery/cultural centre where he stayed while planning the first voyage to the Americas, and don't miss the Real Alcázar, a stunning Mudejar palace and gardens that anyone who has visited the Alhambra in Granada will recognise.

Visit small private palaces and relax in a hammamet Aire de Sevilla with its scents and candles. Walk around the tapas bars and try different dishes. The food here is well-prepared and cheap, not at all like in Madrid and the north. Another tip is to go here in April when the big April holiday is held. Seeing all the fantastic dresses, hearing the sevillanas and watching the horses is an experience you won't forget.

Finally, a question we ask everyone we interview: What is your dream destination?

A long journey in South and Central America. First I would visit friends in Bolivia, then see the northern jungle-covered part of the country. After that I will take the rest of the continent. I would like to see an active volcano during the trip, as well as a paradise beach with hammocks and warm, clear water for snorkelling. I also want to experience a long journey through Africa. Take the ferry across to Morocco and then head south by car, bus, train ...

Thank you Annika Elwing for sharing your experiences and thoughts!

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