Att designa sitt liv utanför boxen - en familj på äventyr

Writers: Helena Lemetti and Hedda Ståhl

As I write this I, Helena, am sitting next to my two daughters on one of Spain's most pristine beaches, looking across to Africa. Not in my wildest imagination did I think 10 years ago, when I was still stuck in the squirrel wheel of Sweden, that this little village would become one of the places in the world where I feel most at home.

It's April and the valley is in beautiful Easter colours. The horses and cows wander calmly along the water's edge. I can't believe that I can sit in this picturesque village and work - indeed, that my whole family can work and study from anywhere in the world. But there is something even deeper I have found, life feels so much more meaningful today. How did we end up here?

Sofia, Helena, Hedda and pictures from our base, Bolonia

Table of contents

Breaking out of the waiting room

Life was not always like this. There was a lot of chafing. Although on paper it looked okay - with a house, a career and great kids - on the inside I was exhausted after years of running around on a squirrel wheel.

I also longed to explore the world. Tired of living a life like a vinyl record on repeat. Tired of long months of cold and darkness. Mostly tired of myself stuck in the waiting room. But most importantly, even Hedda, my eldest daughter, was showing clear signs of stress.

Then finally the turning point seeped in. The girls and I were going to try out living in Spain in Costa Blanca - there was a Scandinavian school there. So we packed our essentials and jumped in the car. Little did I know at the time that we had just taken the first step towards completely changing our lives.

Our first road trip through Europe

A week passed and then there was no turning back. We had a taste of freedom. With each new village we discovered on our road trip through Europe down to Spain, our eyes were opened. Was it really this easy?

Two months earlier, I had been standing in the living room, stressed out, among forms to be filled in. But now that we were in a little fairytale village in Germany - among swaying vines and a castle that could have been designed by Walt Disney himself - I could barely remember why I felt so stressed about those forms. Here I was, in the Moselle Valley, and all I had done to get here was get in the car and drive.

Embracing the unknown

We imagine a lot in our fear of the unknown - putting up so many barriers that keep us stuck in that waiting room. When we distanced ourselves from the life we had lived in Sweden, it was so much easier to see clearly all the things that had been chafing for such a long time.

I had had too little time to reflect before. Every day was full of planned 'should and must' activities.

Now I started to re-evaluate what I had been spending my time on. And it was remarkable how quickly life turned around. More time to spend with family and friends, nicer accommodation, lower costs, better school - and the weather! I know it's a Swedish cliché to talk about the weather, but when it's November and still light outside at 6am, you shed a small tear of joy.

Kilos of stress started to fall off. Life took on a different pace. We started to find our own rhythm again.

So it was no coincidence that Bolonia would become one of our home bases. A place where there is always time for a coffee with a friend.

Bolonia in Spain

At the southern tip of Spain, where the Atlantic meets the Mediterranean, lies Bolonia - a hidden gem, off the beaten track and away from the hustle and bustle of the outside world. This coastal village, where only a few families have lived for generations, is untouched by time. Animals roam freely and the natural beach stretches as far as the eye can see.

We come back to Bolonia for a few months every year. And as soon as we turn over the mountain that hides the valley of the white houses from the main road, we are filled with peace.

We come back to Bolonia for a few months every year. And as soon as we turn over the mountain that hides the valley of the white houses from the main road, we are filled with peace.

Bolonia has always been a place of transformation - where two seas, two continents and modern Spain meet with Spain's origins. Among the cafés, shops and surfers are also the remains of a well-preserved Roman city, putting our little life in much-needed historical perspective.

The villagers are used to foreigners, not least motorhome people who are attracted by the mild climate of the place all year round, but that three girls can come from Sweden and almost be adopted into one of the village families is not as common. But somehow we managed to be embraced by the Andalusian heart - today the farmers wave as they drive past in their tractors and the waiters at the beach café know our order.

Sofia follows the horses from foal to adult and rides both in the large pine forests and along the beach. We also hold courses and retreats here.

Flexible life design - creating a life you love to live

But Bolonia is only one of countless places we have discovered during this decade of travelling, but one of the few that we have chosen to put down roots in. Yes, a lot has happened since that day we jumped in the car and waved goodbye to Sweden.

Today, as a family, Helena 50+, with my daughters Hedda, 25, and Sofia, 19, we have gradually developed a flexible life design where we own our own time and can live with the world as both home and adventure. We study and work freely from anywhere in the world - from the big city pulse of Paris to the green hills of Tuscany.

Image from Paris, Villa in Italy, and Sierra de Cadiz.

We have had to face the unknown several times during our journey. Unfortunately, there is only so much that can fit in one article.

But one thing I can say with certainty is that if we hadn't taken that first step ten years ago, we wouldn't be where we are today. You need to dip your toe in the water and start testing. That's how you start designing a life you love to live.

Once we got some reflective distance from our old life, it was so much easier to start exploring what really creates meaning for us.

A flexible life turned out to be what suited us. But we all have our unique path. What does your dream look like?

To hear more from us as we discuss how to create meaning in life, inside the 9-5 and outside the 9-5, listen to our latest podcast episode "The meaning of life".

Facts about Bolonia

150 inhabitants
30 min from the surfing mecca Tarifa, 1.5 h from Morocco, 2 h from Malaga, 1 h from Cadiz, the oldest city in Europe.
The southernmost point of Spain
Where the Mediterranean and the Atlantic meet
Known for its huge sand dune and beautiful nature. The beach is long and natural.
Outdoor living - hiking, surfing, horse riding.
Tip: Visit the Roman city "Baelo Claudia"

Follow Helena and Hedda here:

Helena and Hedda

Helena, GenX, and Hedda, Gen Z - mother and daughter - are life design coaches and social entrepreneurs. They have been writing about their own flexible life outside the box for almost a decade, with the world as their home and adventure. They are based in Spain and Italy. The family also includes their youngest daughter Sofia, 19, who can often be found on horseback. In their podcast "The 8760 Experience" they want to inspire people to design more authentic lives through engaging storytelling and concrete tools. Yes, a life you simply love to live. We all get 8760 new hours every year - that's your time to design.